


I Only Fuck Ruins

by crackficswithfriends



Series: crack fanfictions mmmhmmm [4]
Category: Tales of Zestiria
Genre: Crack, M/M, ruin kink, symonne is fujoshi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-12
Updated: 2017-03-12
Packaged: 2018-10-02 23:55:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10230917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crackficswithfriends/pseuds/crackficswithfriends
Summary: Symonne was looking for a show, but this was not what she wanted. At all.





	

**Author's Note:**

> codenames brock and misty wrote this one, and can i just say. what the fuck

A- smol, lowkey the tol in any relationship, loves ruins like would fuck a ruin, nerdy, gay for ruins, carries around history book Sorey

 

B-super smol™, definitely gay, has Magical Water Powers ™ , 

 

C-cute super bi princess, except low standing, also a knight, honest, hardworking, once upon a time was a nerd

 

D- pun master, 1 000 of years old, cant talk about anytijng cause she made a pact ™ to keep secrets for power, cool fire magic ™ 

 

E- bossy, looks like a 12 yr old but is thousands of years old, bitter, has cool earth powers ™ ,

 

F- an assassin, merchant on the side, assassins guid is also merchant guild, looks like a cat, is and ultra lesbian ™ ,

 

G- lowkey creepy stalker with good intentions, has tragic backstory ™, cool wind powers ™ ™ ™, Dezel

 

H- also has cool wind powers but doesnt wear a shitr, cool tattoos on chest, doesnt wear a shirt, wants to kill ex bf bc hes now a dragon,

 

I- evil ™, can make people see things that arent really happening, fails bc she doesnt understand the powers of love ™ , Symmone

 

“YO IT’S A FUCKIN RUIN except i’ve seen it a billion times :(((((“

Symmone stumbled out of the shadows, chugging a bottle of whiskey. Miraculously, she made it to Sorey without face planting, “Yo, kid,” she said, her speech slurred, “I hear you need help fuckin’ a ruin,”

“W-what?”

“I mean, with a ficking ruin,” she used Sorey to prop herself up, “I can, like, hook you up with somethin’, pal”

Sorey shrugged, not seeing anything wrong with the drunk womans proposition, “Okay, cool!”

Symmone spun twice on her toes and drunkenly skipped back to the shadows from whence she came. She reached into the shadows, then began laughing maniacally. 

After her laughing ceased, Symmone yanked Sharkboy out of the shadows.

“What am I supposed to do with this??!>?>!@1” Sorey asked; she had promised ruins, not some guy!! Like wtf lady get your shit together.

“Fuck him,”

“... What.”

“Y’all (that’s an American term) heard me,”

“Why would I do that?? I only fuck ruins,” Sorey said, accidently revealing his ruin kink, which is better than the microwave kink. He gasped dramatically, placing his hands to the side of his face like the scream. [and like Symmone and Dezel are the silhouettes in the back] 

Symmone sighed;  _ all _ she wanted was her daily fix of yaoi, but  _ noooooo _ , “Fine,” she said waving her hands.

To her eyes, Dezel was still a guy, but to Sorey he was a fine hunk of… rock.

“Hoo boy,” Sorey whistled, “I could explore you  _ all day _ ,” for some reason, Sharkboy didn’t care, he was just like ’yeah cool I guess’.

“I can’t wait to get inside you,” Sorey purred, [trying to walk] seductively towards Shark-ruin-boy, except it kind of looked like he too was drunk.

When Sorey made it to Sharkboy and Symmone, he caressed Sharkboys face, then squeezed his biceps, “Hmm, looking a bit…  _ hard _ ,” Symmone giggled; _ fucking finally _ .

“But you look a bit  _ dusty. _ ” Sorey had done it, he had broken the trance. His last innuendo was so bad that the magic in the air was like  _ ‘nope fam I’m out I can’t do this anymore’ _

Even Sharkboy had raised an eyebrow, but  ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ it was some action he’d never gotten so he figured it was better than none. Since the veil was broken, however, Sorey was no longer interested in Sharkboy, and instead returned to lusting for the surrounding ruins.


End file.
